The Love Tale: The Lies and Truth About Relationships

I want to tell a love tale that centers around the lies and truth associated with each of our relationships. It all has to do with every of our love escapades, both the good and the bad. We all have our love tales to tell, some of which we are happy to tell everyone who cares to listen while for some, we can only tell the tales to ourselves because they are forbidden for other ears. Everyone has gotten his/her love tale. Our storyline may differ but regardless of the difference in our love tales, every of our love tales has gotten three fundamentals. " The beginning, The Sacrifices, and The Goals".

The Beginning
The beginning is the origin of things. This is where all of our love tales began. Every love tale has gotten a beginning. This is the point at which love was triggered on our inside. The beginning truth is this: " Love always finds us", "Nobody falls in love". Even the hardest of persons has gotten love locked up somewhere inside the heart, it only needs to be triggered by "The Elements of Attraction ''.

The Elements of Attraction
Every love tale begins with one or more than one element of attraction. These elements are the catalyst of love, they differ from person to person, for some guys it could be the girl's body shape " desired size of the breast, the desired shape of ass", to some it could be her smile, it could be how sweet her voice sounds, her complexion, her beauty. For the ladies the elements of attraction could be the guy's height, his money, his looks, his complexion, his voice, these elements are exhaustive, we can fill in the blanks.
"Nobody falls in love" This is a beginning truth that many people in love both in time past and present have failed to realize, this is so because once love is triggered on our inside it begins to develop and grow exponentially but our minds most of the time ain't able to catch up with it thereby leaving us stranded. We realize we can't explain why we do some things or the logical reasoning behind some of our decisions, so we tell ourselves "I have fallen in love", but in truth, we have only arrived at the  "The Confluence of Attraction".

The Confluence of Attraction
This is the point in our love tale where many feel love is in its purest form. Let's take a break from love, let's take a mental journey to Lokoja, Nigeria. This town is famous for one thing "The Confluence" River Niger and River Benue, Two big rivers became one till eternity. Back to our love tale, the Confluence of attraction is when two or more elements of attraction merge.  "A tall guy who likes a girl with big breasts meets a girl with big breasts who likes a tall guy". "A girl who is a Marlian meets a guy who is also a Marlian". "A church brother who likes a church sister meets a church sister who likes a church brother".
The confluence of attraction shows two forces of love interacting with one another, this is a point in our love tale where many of us will remember fondly with a smile as subtle as the morning rays while some of us will regret approaching this point with tears that hurt like a syringe.
Oftentimes at this point, we want to explore our newly found emotions, many of us become blind to those hazard alarms that keep blaring in our heads. We get lost while trying to enjoy love and at the same time discover our various love capacities. Our pitfall here usually lies in our failure to use "The Compass" when making "The Sacrifice"

The Sacrifices
This is the stage in our love tales where all the efforts we have invested into love are summed up. These efforts are those "Things we do for love"
Another love tale truth is this "Love costs a lot", this is the reality of love as against what popular opinion had us believing that "Love don't cost a thing". Love costs a whole lot more than we could possibly estimate or quantify. How can we quantify the cost of a girl's virginity given up to a guy who doesn't value it all in the name of love or the value of the sleeplessness a guy goes through because he was jilted?
In every of our love tales, from the point of attraction, sacrifices are being made, these sacrifices are disguised as efforts, it only takes the bravest of heart to see and acknowledge all these efforts and never take them for granted.  These efforts could be identified from any or combination of these sacrifices.

The Sacrifice of the body
To many of us out there, the greatest way we ever displayed love was by giving our body even when our morals and home training were against it. et, we did it for love. He wanted it, so you gave him wholeheartedly. The elements of attraction got you blinded, you only wanted to show you love him, You trusted him enough that you allowed him access to your honey pot, he was so greedy that he kept on scooping, he didn't bother to ask if you did enjoy the way he explored your honey pot or bothered to ask how you want your honey scooped, He was only concerned about his satisfaction. 

The Sacrifice of Time
"Time is money" This is the message of the clock every second it ticks. Each of those seconds we have put into love makes up our love tale, If only we could measure all those seconds we have invested into love then convert them into cash. Those moments we sneaked away to the bathroom to make those calls, the late-night chats we had when we could have been fast asleep, those hours we spent on those romantic dates, and many other times we could have invested into other crucial things yet we gave them up just to spend time with the love of our life.

The Sacrifice of Choice
Each of our choices has an outcome, either good or bad. We are victims of our choices. Our choices determine how our love tales end. Oftentimes, we choose to remain in the relationship even when we could have done otherwise. We choose to continue with him/her when the flags were red. When he kicked at you at every provocation. When it was obvious she was cheating on you with other guys. Yet, we remained in such toxic relationships because we made the sacrifice of choice. 
Romeo and Juliet both made "The Sacrifice of Love" Although it led to their death yet their love tale is being told across history alongside their sacrifices.

The Sacrifice of Wealth
If only every Kobo we have invested into love could be returned to us in a lump sum, I am quite certain many of us would be richer than we are today. Regardless of the amount spent or will be spent for love, it won't be sufficient to keep love at bay because money only gets love triggered because it is only an "Element of Attraction".  
From the amount spent on airtime to the amount spent on getting a birthday gift or that spent on going out on a date, all these are efforts that could have been invested into other investment vehicles yet we chose to sacrifice for love. The truth is, some of these efforts may not be appreciated by our partners, or for some, it may be for other selfish or sinister reasons yet it was deliberate, it was an effort that involved other choices but we decided to sacrifice.
Let's ask ourselves this "Love Tale" question. "Will I be in this relationship if money is not involved?". It is only a question that literally requires no answer.

The Goals
A soldier once told me of the importance of a compass to soldiers in unknown terrain. In his words" A soldier mustn't leave base without a compass".
This saying applies to everyone who wants to enjoy love. Love goals are compasses that help us navigate and explore our "Love Capacity, it oftentimes determines how sweet or otherwise our love tale could end up. 
Goals are control measures in our love tales that may guarantee a happy ending or a shipwreck, These measures are valuable tools for evaluating the quantity, quality, and satisfaction we get from love. 
A gentle "love Tale" exercise: Take a pause and check through your "Love Tale", ask yourself these questions: Do I have any love goal in place? How many of these goals have been achieved? 
No rule states it is too late to set a goal, Regardless of how far you have gone without love goals, This is the time to set love goals. Remember no time is perfect whether it is from "The Beginning; Point of Attraction, Confluence of Attraction or The Sacrifices" to ensure you get some achievable love goals for yourself

The Conclusion
I love "Love Tales", especially love tales that truly define what love is, Even the gods love "Love Tales" because it is a common path trended by both mortals and immortals. We must identify the truths and lies in our relationships, disengage the lies and build up the truths as our love tales deserve a happy ending, we must never forget to quit anything that will jeopardize our love tale.

You can connect with the writer and the blog on:
Instagram: @alk_azam and @thetokesuave
Twitter: @alk_azam and @toke_suave


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