Toke Suave

Love

5 Romantic Texts That Will Blow Her Mind + More

3 comments

, by Toke Suave

abuse

Can't Smell Rape Without Rape

Verbal harrassment

Nonconsensual touching

Forced penetration

Rape is not just the victim's problem, it is everybody's issue. Nobody is safe around a sex offender.

Rape happens

When you use varying degree of force, psychological intimidation, blackmail or threats to coerce a lady to have sex with you.
When someone is unable to give consent for instance while intoxicated, drugged, asleep or mentally incapacitated.

Let's take a look at Busola Dakolo's story, a professional photographer and wife to the musician, Timi Dakolo.

She has publicly claimed that she was raped by a popular pastor in her teenage years. This is an important highlight of the story.

'Immediately I opened the door, he just pushed me. He didn't say anything, didn't utter any word, he just pushed me to one of the chairs in my living room and I saw him, he was removing his belt.

"So I was like what? And he said, 'keep quiet, do what I want and you will be fine

When I was about to react, he covered my mouth and when he did he said, Busola, listen to me and you will be fine, just do what I want you to do.

"I didn't struggle, I just left him and he brought out his penis. I was wearing a nightgown and pant, he pulled down my pant found difficulty to enter I was grunting, I would cry and he eventually penetrated, blood dropped on the floor.

"At that point, he finished what he wanted to do, had an orgasm and he zipped up. He left me there, I just sat on the floor and he went out.

He entered his car, came back with Crest a soft drink with green content. It was already opened so he just poured it in my mouth and I had to swallow as he did that.

"He tapped me and said, you should be happy I'm the one that did this to you and he said I'll see you and he left"

If we take it from her side of the story, he assaulted her because she never gave consent. She said nothing. Silence is not a 'go ahead and have sex with me' motive. Just the same way that you wouldn't force a lollipop down my throat if you don't ask if I want it. She was just 16, young and naive. There is a tendency he intimidated her psychologically because he was her pastor, respected individual and a family friend. She probably didn't know how to react.
For more gist, watch her interview here

Rape is an assault of the body and mind. No woman deserves to be raped.
The most annoying situation about rape cases is when people blame the victim. What was she looking for? What did she wear? There is no excuse for rape. All rapists should face the law and get appropriate punishment.

I have a few friends who have shared their rape stories with me. I always feel the trauma and memories which lingers on within them even after a long period of time.

If she says 'no', what part of no do you not understand bro? If she's silent, why can't you ask for her consent?

Every form of rape case should be reported and everyone must speak up early enough because if a rapist gets away, you might get married to one. If you don't speak up now, you risk future generations, even your daughters are not safe.

As a child, my dad has always urged me to always speak up and I've had attempted rape situations in my early years. The most intriguing of it is that they were all acquaintances of my family. A cousin, two tenants - one married, the other a bachelor, a male teacher, a former principal and a family friend. I remember I was always yelling 'I'll tell Baba if you touch me' and they would beg and let me be.

We should always support rape victims and condemn those who blame the victims and punish the rapists severely.

If you have a rape case to report kindly call the Mirabel Centre

07013491769, 01-2957816, 08176275732, 08176275695 They are located at Lagos State University Teaching Hospital (LASUTH) Ikeja,Lagos and are opened from 9am - 5pm ,Monday- Friday and 10 am - 4pm on weekends and public holidays.

Speak Up Now. Rape Is Rape. Rape Is A Crime.

Thanks for reading consistently.

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, by Toke Suave

Sexting : The Sauce of Every Modern Relationship

Controversially, sexting is another subject people shy away from. From the words 'sex' and 'text', sexting was coined. It is the exchange of dirty flirty thoughts, sexual fantasies and explicit photos through digital media- Shall I say it's a form of digital romance or smartphone sexiness? Sure it is.

Being in a relationship can sometimes reach the height of boredom. The thing goes like this, you text, you hook up at a spot talk about your new job, new apartment, shopping, games and movies. Sometimes, you end up getting on each other's nerves and all those dramas in between. You've probably heard of people ending their relationships because they are unable to keep the spark alive especially when they are far away from each other. Sexting is an escapade when faced with communication obstacles in a relationship especially the long distance one.

Recent studies have shown that majority of people spend more time on their phones or PCs. Since technology has proven to be unstoppable, we should flow with the trend and leverage it even in our sexual lives.

Sexting is an art. It requires skills and creativity. You may fail at it if you're not cautious. The same way you seduce your partner with your looks and all, you can do the same with messing with their thoughts through mesmerizing and hypnotizing text messages. Sexting gives you an edge in today's competitive dating scene. It could rejuvenate a placid relationship. Sexting works like magic and this is not an exaggeration.

Texting each other in a relationship doesn't have to be any of the following all the time

"Hello, how are you' and the response 'I'm fine and you? '

“What's up with the weekend?' Response: I will be going for an uncles wedding

"Have you had breakfast? "

The above can become boring and monotonous along the line.

What about waking up to any of these

"I know you want me unclad for breakfast this morning"

"My lips are charred, the balm missing is you"

"Here's my plan for the weekend - me, you, wine, bedroom. The end. "

Beautiful isn't it?

Sexting is another aspect of normal human sexual behaviour.

Keep your partner in high anticipation of your presence. Send a bikini photo. If you and your partner are new to sexting, you can put out a feeler first to avoid some awkward moments. Sexting should be consensual. If it turns out fine by both of you, you might sent all day and this gives some kind of sexual satisfaction and keeps you genuinely interested in your partner.

You can also see it as a way of giving attention to your significant other - of course every one craves for this kind of attention like me and my boyfriend spending four hours texting each other. That's a relationship goal.

However, we've seen sexting go wrong sometimes. Conversation and nude pictures getting leaked to a third party. So, there's a need to be careful when sending raw photos especially when you're not a married couple or in a committed relationship because once it is sent, it is sent, there's no turning back the hands of time.

Whatever it is, it's fun to sext. Let your fingers do the talking and enjoy the new world of sexting.

22 comments

, by Toke Suave

abuse

Raise Your Standards, Don't Raise a Hand on a Lady!

2 comments

, by Toke Suave

Breakups

You Need to Backoff Now, I'm His New Girlfriend.

I know you feel heartbroken that he has finally moved on with me. It’s been three months since you guys broke up. You’re probably wondering about how he could quickly slide into another relationship.

Or were you wondering if letting him go would be a mistake and you decided to stick around waiting for him to want you back?

Girl, you’re hurting yourself. I know it hurts to think that you’ve been replaced, you’re not. He simply found a way to make himself a better person by being in a relationship with me.

You send so many epistles. It’s hurting us. Why are you trying to guilt-trip him like ending the relationship wasn’t mutual?

I know whatever happened between you is none of my business but now, you’re interfering in our happiness. You’re making him feel like he’s the worst person on earth even if he’s clearly not.

You’ve been stalking me. You view all my Instagram stories and videos. You’re really hurting yourself. He’s not responding to all your flirty texts and nude pictures. Leave him the hell alone. He gives me the phone to reply you. So, all the messages you got back are from me not him. I’m tired of pretending that you don’t hurt both of us.

Stop telling his friends to talk to him about you. It provokes me when they ask about you from him.

I feel awesome watching your miserable heart plead for his love and attention. At first, I felt our relationship wasn’t going to last because of your interference. You know what is more adorable? It’s more adorable that he’s so madly into me and he isn’t gonna fall for you again. It gives me so much assurance that he loves and respects my relationship with him.

See, I didn’t steal him from you. You guys broke up. He told me all about it.

But please let him go. You need to accept that if he wasn’t already done with you, he wouldn’t be in a serious relationship with me. I know it might be hard for you to give up. I’ve been there and I don’t want you to be stuck in your past. There’s so much relief when you accept your loss, grieve the pain and move on.

I want you to know that I’m never gonna walk away. I love him and if you’re not going to leave him alone, you leave me no choice than to fight you.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friends with him but tone down everything and stop acting like I don’t exist.

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23 comments

, by Toke Suave

Pages

5 Romantic Texts That Will Blow Her Mind + More

Can't Smell Rape Without Rape

Verbal harrassment

Nonconsensual touching

Forced penetration

Speak Up Now. Rape Is Rape. Rape Is A Crime.

Sexting : The Sauce of Every Modern Relationship

Raise Your Standards, Don't Raise a Hand on a Lady!

You Need to Backoff Now, I'm His New Girlfriend.

Stop telling his friends to talk to him about you. It provokes me when they ask about you from him.

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