These days young people navigate relationship statuses into something like ‘we’re just friends‘ or ‘we’re just hooking up’ or ‘we’re just fwb‘ or in essence, you people are just eating each other’s work. It can get confusing and defining a relationship is one of the most dreadful things to do in this age.
Nobody wants to break the ice and ask where the relationship is heading (and that includes me too). Often times, this is because the question itself is scary and it leaves us vulnerable.
I was once with a guy who I thought going with the flow that comes with the relationship would lead somewhere until I drowned. I drowned in a pool of expectation. I started to feel very attached (actually not intended at first) and I got to a point where I wanted him to commit. On one of those days having random thoughts, I asked him what he wanted of us. He said ‘ Oh babe, I want you but I want to keep my options open. Not necessarily for someone better to come along, but for someone who I’m completely sure of to come along, unless one day, I become sure of you. I don’t want anything serious, but I want to spend a lotta time with you and yenno have a lot of amazing time out at the movies, bed, blah blah blah’. All those okoto meow meow he was saying meant, I like you but I don’t want a relationship with you. Sadly, I packed my emotions and said bye-bye since my expectations wasn’t met. Of course I was hurt, broken and disappointed.
It’s emotionally painful when you’re that person and your feelings ain’t reciprocated. Now the question is, so why purposely set yourself up in a no-label relationship?
Maybe you don’t know what you want yet or you find dating hard to balance with everything else. It’s actually easier to avoid the whole dating thing.
Being in a label-free relationship actually sets you free. The people that have chosen to be in a situationship also have a point no doubt! This means that you’re free, no expectations, no responsibility. And I as a 20-something year old who has fears and doubts about commitment, I get that offer a lot.
Having a no-label relationship means that there isn’t any pressure to act a certain way around your partner. It gives you the freedom to keep chasing or being available for other people too. And you probably feel more secure in being available for other people.
But then let’s actually get serious, letsl date and get rid of this hook up culture our generation has replaced dating with.
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