Growing up as a teen, I was surrounded by young adults with raging hormones and insatiable sexual urges. From the neighbors that lived three blocks away, to older classmates at school, I was always found in the company of guys with huge age difference. Of course, I had to see what they did and hear what they said and almost everything were about dumping this girl or having their way with ‘ that girl that walks like she doesn’t excrete’. On a cold evening, a passerby would see guys seated on a bench boasting of numerous sexcapades with the pretty hot girls. Often, I would hear things like ‘amaka, that girl wey get big ehnehn…, I don chop her’. The lanky fair guy among us who was regarded as Casanova would say ‘that girl wey we bet on, I don chop am’ or ‘that hot girl come find me today’. Statements like this would be followed by laughter erupting as a sign of conquest, I guess. I would join the laughter too not to seem like the odd one. Most times, I get chased with remarks like ‘nah smallie, em never sabi’.
Those times would serve as periods of reflection. The girls been talked about were supposedly humans… people’s children? They had hearts too, hearts that loved wholeheartedly and without thinking, hearts that gave out unflinching loyalty. Why then did they have to be dumped, made objects of ridicule, debased, devalued and tagged as cheap , senseless toys for sexual pleasure ? My elder brother would come to meet me. He often misinterpreted my penchant for staring into open space whenever i was thinking as a sign of me getting moody or loosing esteem. When I asked him why they treated and talked of girls as less than humans , he would often reply with “You won’t understand ” . How I hated that statement! I decided , I was going to be anything but a male who scorned and deceived women for fun . I was going to be different!