I think the concept of virginity was created by men who thought their penises were so important, it changes who a woman is.
About a year ago, I took a decision on allowing a guy ,who I thought we were in love, explore my genitals. Subsequent to that very day, I had always imagined as a teenager what it felt like to be penetrated, the mood, the action and everything I had read in Cara McKenna’s book ‘ Willing Victim’.
My aunt who is a sex therapist had told me not to reveal my virginity status to anyone. These were her words ‘If it feels passionately right for you to have sex and you’re with the right person, just do it. But do not let him know because he’d feel he has the power to control you. And if at a point, you feel the relationship ain’t working, you can always leave without feeling entitled or him feeling like he owns your vagina. The truth is you own your sexuality, let no one take control over it’
Fast forward, we’ve been friends for a few months then one night he asked me to be his girl, I told him yes that night, we kissed and I had my first sex that night. When we we’re done, he asked if I was a virgin, I told him a no. Then something popped into my head, why does he care anyway if I am one or not?