Being a girlfriend (friends with benefits, baby mama, side chick or any other unmarried relations) is a trap. Oh well, no one will categorically tell you this but I am. If you really want to survive the dating pool, have a dating roster. You will understand why it is important as you read along. (P.S: you might not like this thread for religious reasons but then…)
A roster is a collection of men you’re dating at the same time with the goal of getting married. Three is the magic number. If you can manage more males, that’s fantastic, but three is a good starting point. You may take control of your love life with a roster so you won’t be at the mercy of any man. When you date one man exclusively, also known as being a girlfriend, you are waiting for him to either dump you or marry you. Your waiting can go on for years possibly decades. The way to take back your power is to commit yourself to the relationship that you want not to any one man.
A relationship commitment begins with a roster. Building a roster isn’t always about finding the one; it’s about learning how to interact with men, discovering what you like, and boosting your confidence. It’s about discovering your own boundaries and standards so that you can be ready for the man of your dreams.
Creating a roster will protect you. It prevents you from putting too much emotional energy into one man who may not be the right one for you. It keeps your heart under control. Keeping a roster is all about prioritizing your needs. You are essentially establishing standards. A man will recognize that in order to gain your commitment, he must fully commit to the type of relationship you desire.
If you make the mistake of becoming exclusive with someone who isn’t the one, you’ll have squandered days, weeks, months, and possibly years on one man
– TOKE SUAVE BLOG
Keeping a roster will ensure that you are in your feminine energy. When you have these men pursuing you, you are able to lean back and enjoy the ride. You have a certain confidence that is very attractive to men. You are attractive because you are allowing men to do what they are designed to do: pursue. Men love a woman who has relaxed energy that allows them to chase her. Men are designed to be the ones chasing, pursuing, and doing in a relationship or they will never build any attraction with a woman.
You must realize that dating is all about numbers. The more options you have, the better your selection. Not every man you meet will be the one. If you make the mistake of becoming exclusive with someone who isn’t the one, you’ll have squandered days, weeks, months, and possibly years on one man. You could have met another man who could have been your future husband during that time period (no go allow your boyfriend stop you from meeting your husband, how many ears u get? )
Also, if you date one man and it does not work out, you will have to start over with a broken heart. There are no broken hearts in roster dating because you are not investing yourself in just one man; your focus is divided so that no one man becomes too important. This avoids heartbreak and hurt feelings.
You respond to pursuit rather than pursuing in this manner. You are allowing yourself to be the prize that you are.
No matter what a man says, men love competition. Men pursue women who they deem are high-value and one of the ways men deem a woman high value is his perception of her having other male suitors. If a man believes that he is your only option he will not see you as that worthwhile. Things of value are wanted and pursued by many contrary to popular opinion that says things that are pursued by many are cheap assets, we beg to differ here.
Get comfortable with the idea of putting your needs first by diverting your attention to multiple men so that you will not get hung up on one man.
So, let’s get started, I want you to have a pep talk with yourself and convince yourself of the importance of maintaining a roster. I want you to go out this Friday or Saturday night alone to 3-star or above restaurant in your area. I want you to get dressed up and look your best. When you get there go to the bar and sit at the bar, order a drink or an appetizer. Keep inviting body language and a smile.
Doing these two exercises will open you up to an abundance of men and the more men you have as suitors the more attractive you are to other men. So get out of your comfort zone and get ready to attract the high-quality masculine man of your dreams.
Congratulations in advance. Welcome to the dating pool. May the best man win.
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Don’t agree with this
Sounds like efforts at creating the Alpha female specie, these stuffs though has counterweighs, the opposite sex, my gender obviously have a way of reciprocating, and it most times makes mess of these category of ladies, who while trying to “play and use,” often turn out to be the very toys they’re seeking to grab.
great piece Toke, but as a man, I feel cheated